This discussion of prosocial communication is a preliminary version of a section I'm considering adding to the new edition of The Interpersonal Communication Book. It would be the final section of the last chapter. I'd be very interested in hearing what you think of this section. Any comments, positive or negative, will be greatly appreciated.
Prosocial Communication
In
Chapter 10 we looked at the dark side of interpersonal relationships (jealousy
and relationship violence) and, in this chapter, we looked at the misuses of
power (sexual harassment, bullying, and power plays), other “dark” sides. As a
counterpoint to these “dark” sides we need also to highlight the more positive
sides of interpersonal communication and relationships or what we might call prosocial communication. Here we
consider the nature of prosocial communication, the factors that influence or
inhibit such communication, some examples of prosocial communication, and some
of its potential effects.
The
Nature of Prosocial Communication
Prosocial communication is communication
that benefits another individual, group, society, or the entire species in some
way. The communication may be verbal or nonverbal or, as usual, some
combination of verbal and nonverbal messages.
A simple smile, compliment, or helpful
advice would be examples of prosocial communication benefiting another
individual’s self-esteem or future behavioral choices. A phone call or text to
report a crime or a person in need of medical attention would also be examples
of prosocial communication. The publication of research is another example of
prosocial communication since it advances our knowledge of some topic in some
way. And, to the extent that knowledge
is beneficial, the publication of research is prosocial. Speeches or posts espousing
accepted values in a culture—whether they be equality, democracy, freedom of speech-–would
be considered examples of prosocial communication benefiting the larger social
group.
As you might expect the definition of
prosocial communication will vary with the culture. And so, while supporting
gay rights or women’s rights in some cultures would be considered prosocial, it
would not be in others. And the same is true with a wide variety of religious,
political, and social issues.
On
the Internet both crowdsourcing and crowdfunding are examples of prosocial
communication (Sproull, Conley, & Moon, 2004). When you help another person
find the right plumber or get opinions on different graduate schools (as you
would in responding to a crowdsourcing request), you’re engaging in prosocial
communication. Similarly, when you send in a donation for a particular project
(as you would in responding to a crowdfunding request), you’re engaging in a
prosocial act or at least you assume the request is legitimate rather than a
scam. Also needed to be included here are the numerous prosocial communication options
for comments on posts.
Prosocial
communication is not the opposite of anti-social communication. If you give a
homeless person money for coffee, we’d say this is a prosocial act but if you
don’t give it, it doesn’t mean that your behavior is anti-social. It’s just
not, in this case, prosocial.
And,
contrary to what many would think, prosocial communication is not necessarily
altruistic. Altruism may motivate the prosocial communication but it is not an
essential component. In fact, there is some evidence that altruism is the
primary motivation for prosocial behavior generally (Stiff, Dillard, Somera,
Kim, & Sleight, 2009). But, prosocial communication may also be motivated
by selfishness, the need for approval or as a preface to asking a favor. It
does not have to be motivated by positive emotions such as love, empathy, or
friendship. In fact, some theorists would argue that all behavior (even
prosocial behavior) is motivated by egoism, not altruism (http://www.iep.utm.edu/psychego/).
Factors
Influencing Prosocial Communication
A
wide variety of factors can be identified that may influence prosocial
communication. Some factors encourage and others inhibit the expression of
prosocial communication.
One
factor is that of similarity.
Similarity encourages prosocial communication; you’re more apt to engage in
prosocial communication with those who are similar to you than with those who
are different—whether in sex, in age, in culture, or in religion--than you are
with those who are unlike you. Dissimilarity often reduces the likelihood of
prosocial communication.
Your
relationship bonds will influence
your prosocial communication. As you’d
expect, you’re more likely to engage in prosocial communication with those you
are friends with or those you love. This seems partly due to the expectation
(or perhaps obligation) you have towards friends and family and partly due to
your wanting to do good things for friends and family (that is, to people you
like). With enemies or with disliked others, prosocial communication is likely
to be inhibited.
When
someone engages in prosocial communication that benefits you, you’re more
likely to reciprocate and return prosocial communication. This is simply
another example of the law of reciprocity—you
are apt to engage in behavior that is similar to the behavior of others; you
tend to give back what you are given.
Your
history of reinforcement will
influence your prosocial communication, as it will any form of communication.
If you’ve been rewarded for prosocial communication, you’d be more likely to continue
to engage in and even increase such communication. If you were punished for it
or if it was ignored, you’d likely decrease such communication. Even
expressions of gratitude increase the likelihood of prosocial behavior and
communication (Grant & Gino, 2010). Similarly, the expectation of reward
will influence your prosocial communication. We live in a world that, at least
on the surface, rewards prosocial communication. Those who engage in prosocial
communication seem to be liked more than those who don’t. And so, you might
engage in prosocial communication because you anticipate that it will lead
others to reward you in some way, perhaps to like you more.
Your
personality affects your
communication and certain personality traits, for example, altruism, will
encourage prosocial communication and other personality traits, for example, selfishness,
will likely lead to less such communication. Some research finds that the
prosocial orientation depends on two major personality traits: other-oriented
empathy and helpfulness (Penner & Orom, 2010).
The
teachings of your culture and with
those with whom you come into contact will influence your tendencies to engage
in prosocial communication. Your culture has taught you about the rules for
prosocial communication and you likely follow these unconsciously internalized rules.
For example, collectivist cultures such as Venezuela, Indonesia, Pakistan,
Guatemala, and China emphasize prosocial communication more than individualist
cultures such as the United States, Australia, Canada, Italy, and Denmark. It
is, for example, extremely important in collectivist cultures to be supportive
of the other person, to praise the other person, to not call any errors to
attention, to agree rather than disagree—all prosocial communication. This
doesn’t mean that these communications are not supported in individualist
cultures; they are, but just not as much. In addition to the rules of the
culture, you also learn to engage in prosocial communication from parents, from
teachers, and from peers. You may be praised by your parents for saying nice
things about your kid sister or notice that those who engage in prosocial
communication seem to be liked more than those who don’t.
And,
because culture influences the gender
roles we learn, your gender will also influence prosocial communication.
Generally, research finds that both genders engage in prosocial communication
equally but in different ways. Women
seem to engage in more prosocial verbal communication while men are more likely
to engage in more prosocial nonverbal communication (Dickman & Eagly,
2000). For example, a man is more likely
to go into a burning building to rescue someone or to break up a fight and a
woman is more likely to express positive feelings and give compliments.
One
additional factor should be noted and that is the situation that arises when
you’re in a crowd and someone is in need of help. Research shows that in these
situations, you are less likely to
help. This tendency is referred to as the diffusion
of responsibility (Darley & Latane, 1968). The idea here is that people
feel they needn’t do anything since someone else in the crowd is likely to do
it. A related factor influencing whether or not you offer to act prosocially is
your view of the crowd. When you make your decision to act or not to act (that
is, to help the person in need), you may take your cues from the crowd and if
the crowd does nothing, then you figure you shouldn’t either. Appropriately
enough, this tendency is referred to as pluralistic
ignorance (Latane & Darley, 1970) and can lead to a variety of negative
consequences (Fisher, et al., 2011).
Examples
of Prosocial Communication
Throughout
your course and textbook, numerous examples of prosocial communication have
been identified. Here are just ten to remind you of the varied ways in which
following the principles of interpersonal communication may lead to prosocial
communication.
·
Communicating with
cultural sensitivity. People benefit in their self-view when their cultural
beliefs are understood and respected.
·
Listening
empathically.
When you listen empathically, you’re performing a prosocial communication act
by providing a supportive and understanding ear.
·
Responding
appropriately to the emotional expression of others. When you offer
comfort and support to the grief stricken, you’re performing a prosocial
communication act.
·
Confirming. Communications
that acknowledge the importance and contributions of another are likely to have
a beneficial effect while disconfirming messages are likely to yield no such
benefits and perhaps a variety of negative responses.
·
Advising. When you offer
advice, assuming it is asked for, you are performing a prosocial communication
act by sharing what you know or think with another person in an effort to
comfort or reassure them.
·
Complimenting. When you
compliment someone for a job well done or for looking good, you’re performing a
prosocial communication act by helping the other person to feel more positively.
·
Mentoring/Sharing. When you mentor
someone, you’re performing a prosocial communication act by sharing with them
your expertise and experience—making them more efficient workers or better
speakers, for example. Teaching in all its forms would be included here.
·
Communicating
politely. When
you respect a person’s need for both positive and negative face, you’re
engaging in prosocial communication.
·
Argue fairly and
constructively. When
you engage in conflict fairly and constructively you show respect and confirm
the other person. So, when you’re argumentative rather than aggressive, you’re
engaging in prosocial communication.
·
Responding to the
dark side of interpersonal communication. When you confront bullying or
sexual harassment constructively (and safely) you’re performing a prosocial
communication function.
Effects
of Prosocial Communication
Prosocial
communication most obviously has an effect on the other person. As the examples
given above illustrate prosocial communication benefits other people by making
them feel better about themselves or enabling them to do what they do more
effectively and/or more efficiently.
But, your prosocial behavior also has
an effect on you; you feel better about yourself for having done something good
for someone else. In fact, there is considerable research showing that personal
pleasure and happiness often comes from helping others (https://thinklivebepositive.wordpress.com/category/helping-others-makes-you-happy/).
And, in many ways, prosocial
communication benefits the society as a whole when, for example, you campaign
for clean water or when you argue against injustice. Even when you mentor a
young person, for example, you’re influencing the larger society by helping
this person do a better job—be a better bus driver (benefiting the passengers),
or teacher (benefiting students), or store clerk (making life easier for
harried customers). Each act has ripple effects and prosocial communication has
positive ripple effects.
Exercises and Discussion Questions
Giving and Receiving Prosocial
Communication
Here
are two scenarios which have the potential for prosocial communication.
Examining these situations will further clarify the nature and function of
prosocial communication. The first scenario focuses on your making prosocial
communication choices and the second on the prosocial communication you might
like to receive from others.
Giving
Prosocial Communication
One of your close
friends has been having a pretty awful time; failed two courses, lost a great
part-time job, and was dumped by a long-time romantic partner. Your friend call
you; tells you all this and pauses, waiting for you to say something.
1.
Identify
two or three choices for prosocial communication, select the one you think
best, and explain why you think this is the best choice.
2.
In
what way might this choice benefit the other person?
3.
In
what way might this choice benefit you?
4.
In
what way might this choice benefit the larger social group or society as a
whole?
Receiving
Prosocial Communication
At dinner with
four of your closest friends, you mention that you are feeling depressed lately
and are thinking of quitting college.
1.
Identify
two or three choices for your friends’ prosocial communication that you might
find useful.
2.
In
what way might these choices benefit you?
3.
In
what way might these choices benefit your friends?
4.
In
what way might these choices benefit the larger social group or society as a
whole?
Defining
Prosocial Communication
There is no universally accepted
definition of prosocial communication. Some theorists define it as behavior
that benefits another but with no thought of personal reward; others define it
as behavior that is intended to serve a prosocial function. Here are a few
questions about: Where is prosocial
communication?
a.
Is
it in the intention of the communicator? Would a totally destructive bit of
advice be prosocial communication if there was the intention to help. For
example, would a friend’s advice on how to dress, that leads the person into a
long period of depression, be prosocial if the friend’s intentions were good
and were intended to help rather than harm the friend?
b.
Is
it in the non-expectation of gain? Some definitions of prosocial behavior
define it as behavior that benefits others without the expectation of any
personal gain. So, does the real estate salesperson engage in prosocial
communication when she convinces a potential buyer to buy a house—that is sure
to (and actually does) increase dramatically in value—when her motivation is
the commission she’ll earn from the sale?
c.
Is it in the message? Consider this: you’re
having coffee with your romantic partner and announce your desire to break up.
Your partner is overcome with shock and goes to the restroom. Almost
immediately after getting up, a stray bullet is fired and would have hit your
partner had your partner not gotten up. Was the breakup speech prosocial
communication?
d.
Is
it in the effect? Let’s say, Jim wants to bankrupt John and so convinces him to
invest all his assets in a particular stock. Contrary to Jim’s expectation, the
stock soars in value and John becomes a multi-millionaire. Was Jim’s
communication prosocial?
So, in your
opinion, where is prosocial communication? How would you define prosocial
communication?
Discussion Questions
1.
How
would you describe an insincere compliment in terms of prosocial communication?
A forced smile?
2.
What
role does emotion work play in prosocial communication?
3.
How
would you describe the rules of netiquette generally or the rules for
communicating on any one of the varied social media sites in terms of prosocial
communication?
4.
In
what way does Facebook, Twitter, or any of the online dating sites promote
prosocial communication? Can you find examples that might discourage prosocial
communication?
5.
How
would you describe the prosocial behavior in general and the prosocial
communication in particular exhibited by the typical superhero?
6.
How
would you explain the role of prosocial communication in developing and
maintaining friendship and/or romantic relationships? What role does prosocial
communication have on the immediate and extended family?
7.
How
would you describe your own prosocial communications? Consider, for example, such
concepts as the contexts in which such behavior occurs, the channels used, the
feedback, and the effects.
