The Myths and Truths of Nonverbal Communication

 

Consider each of the following statements about nonverbal communication. Which do you think are true?

1.      With training, you can tell what a person is thinking from watching their nonverbal behaviors.

2.      Lying is relatively easy to detect, especially with those with whom you have a close relationship.

3.      Unlike verbal communication which is learned, nonverbal communication is innate.

4.      Unlike verbal communication, nonverbal communication is universal—members of all cultures have the same meaning for gestures, facial expressions, and eye movements, for example.

5.      Nonverbal communication is more important than verbal communication.

Although we’ll consider each of these assumptions as they become relevant in the course of our coverage of nonverbal communication, we should here examine what nonverbal communication is not. All of the five statements are more myth than fact. Briefly:

1.      You can’t tell what a person is thinking from their nonverbal behaviors, at least not generally. There are situations when you can tell—for example, you can often identify when a person is happy and when a person is sad. But, beyond these rather general meanings, you really can’t read a person like a book.

2.      Lying is actually extremely difficult to detect, especially when the liar is a person with whom you have a close relationship and the reason is that people in a close relationship have learned how to lie effectively to their relationship partner.

3.      Some nonverbal behaviors are certainly innate—fear, for example, may be expressed similarly in different cultures. But, much nonverbal behavior is learned in much the same way as verbal behavior is learned—through imitating those with whom you grow up.

4.      There are some nonverbal behaviors that are universal, the behaviors that are innate such as responses to fear. But, much nonverbal behavior varies widely in meaning from one culture to another. As we’ll see the same hand gesture may mean very different things in different cultures.

5.      This is perhaps the most popular myth about nonverbal communication. Certainly there are situations where nonverbal communication is more important than verbal communication—perhaps in first encounters or in expressing support or love—but certainly not in all. You’d be hard pressed to explain nonverbally theoretical concepts, complex directions, or what happened on your way to class today.  So, the importance of one channel over another depends on the message and the unique communication situation you’re talking about. Rather than thinking about verbal and nonverbal communication competing for importance with one another, think about these two signal systems working together—each communicating the information it communicates best.