7.27.2009
No Boxed Gifts
I only recently learned what “no boxed gifts” means on an invitation—it means that money is the expected and appropriate gift—cash, check, and perhaps even gift cards but no blenders, toasters, or picture frames. Here’s a good example of insulting the guests before they even arrive and is a clear illustration of impolite behavior that violates negative face needs—the need and desire for autonomy, to do as one wishes without being told what to do.
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2 comments:
Yes. We have been living in the biggest "me" society to ever exist to date (I believe) and this would be just part of it. Get what you can get, but also specify what that is down to the smallest detail.
I've frequently run into the same me-isms in trying to meet a man through dating sites - they specify everything from their acceptable breakfast foods to their sexual needs in great detail.
I don't know what to do with all of this except to reject it. All in all it is a very callous mindset where the "other" party is forced to either accept the demand or move on. I know what my response is.
If you ever come across a "No boxed gifts" expectation you could always comply with the demand by donating a sum of money to your favourite charity and give them the commerating certificate to hang on their wall! or if that's being too gentle, then a giant novelty cheque!
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