Self-Confidence

 

http://www.nannypro.com/blog/12-ways-to-help-your-child-gain-confidence/

Here’s a neat little list on ways to build confidence in a child, sent to me by the author, Sara Dawkins. Among the suggestions are:

• Encourage independence
• Praise the process, not the product
• Applaud safe risk taking
• Show unconditional love
• Be a self-confident role model
• Foster an “I can” attitude

With just a little tweaking this list is relevant to a wide variety of topics we talk about in interpersonal communication, e.g., self-esteem, empowerment, relationship development. Nor is the list limited in application to children—much of it (again, with a little tweaking) can be applied to the workplace and the classroom.

Gay History

 

Yesterday, TCM ran Night and Day, the biopic of Cole Porter. In it Cary Grant plays the famed songwriter/composer Cole Porter and Alexis Smith plays his loving wife. Apart from whatever merits or lack of them that this movie possessed, it’s a great example of how gay people are robbed of their history. Cole Porter was gay but this is never shown; instead you see a heterosexual male deeply in love with his wife. It’s a good example of how the media—at least in the 40’s but into the 21^st century as well, contributed (along with political, religious, and social institutions) to deny gay people a legitimacy, a presence, a history. 

Also yesterday, the New York Times ran an article on “Helping a Child to Come Out” (http://www.nytimes.com/2012/10/07/fashion/helping-a-gay-child-to-come-out.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0), perhaps an indication of how much society has progressed, perhaps an indication of how little society has changed.

            Among the interesting things pointed out in the article are these:

1.      Gay teens have higher rates of alcohol and drug abuse, depression, and suicide than their heterosexual counterparts. Helen Kahn, the director of the Family Project of the Human Rights Campaign, attributes this to the stress of being different, of being stigmatized and the problems that come with reactions from “friends” and family.

2.      Despite the attendant difficulties of coming out, one survey found that closeted gay children had an even harder time than those who did come out. Those who came out were significantly happier than those who remained in the closet.

3.      Parents need to listen to their children—often between the lines—so that they can help the child come out in his or her own time. Parents also need to show that their love is unconditional, that the home is a safe place where the child can discuss anything.

Nonverbal Communication Project

Here is exercise that I'm working on for a nonverbal book I'm doing that I thought might be useful. It contains just a few general instructions for creating a video and lots of video examples. Although most clearly directed at the nonverbal course, I thought this might also be appropriate in interpersonal and hybrid courses as well. The videos noted here might also prove useful to interject periodically throughout a course in nonverbal/interpersonal/human communication.

 

Creating a Video of Nonverbal Communication

 

An excellent experience for learning about nonverbal communication is to teach it. Consequently, a popular assignment in many nonverbal communication courses is to create a video to teach some aspect of nonverbal communication. You might then upload it to YouTube or some similar site, exchange videos with others, and critique each other’s videos.

There are numerous websites that illustrate and demonstrate the ways to go about making a video. For example, http://www.youtube.com/create offers a variety of suggestions for creating a video. And, of course, there are a variety of websites that will help you film, design, and edit your video. Just search for “video design,” “create video,” or similar terms and you’ll find the most recent videos on creating videos. These websites and their accompanying videos—as well as all the videos you’ve already watched--will provide a lot better instruction than any print description could.  

In addition to the suggestions you’ll find online, consider these as well.

1.      Keep your video short—aim for 2 minutes. This will force you to compact your ideas but still treat a single idea in some depth. 

2.      Clarify the purpose you want to achieve. Do you want to illustrate specific gestures or an interaction? Do you want to compare nonverbals in different cultures? Once you’ve formulated your purpose, you’ll be better able to select appropriate ways of creating your video.

3.      Select the appropriate means for achieving your purpose. So, for example, if you want to illustrate different gestures in different cultures, then you’ll likely need members of both cultures to demonstrate the gestures or you’ll need photos or graphics.

4.      Keep your subject limited. Don’t try to cover too much. For your first nonverbal communication video, consider focusing on one code and illustrating one aspect of that code—for example, if you want to focus on touch, then you might limit your video to, say, relationship touching. Or, if you want to focus on gestures, you might limit your video to adaptors or illustrators. The idea here is to cover a limited topic but in some depth rather than a broad topic in only general terms.

5.      If you use PowerPoint or Prezi slides, keep them simple. Viewers are not likely to read slides with too much information on them. Similarly don’t crowd the slides with visual images. Use additional slides rather than crowd them.

6.      Keep it professional. You may find it useful to add this video to your resume should you want employers to see it. Of course, if it’s on a public site, prospective employers are very likely to see it whether you want them to or not.

7.      Here is a list of nonverbal communication videos that you can use as examples of the varied types of videos you might create. It should prove useful to review some of these with the idea of your doing your own video. What are some of the pitfalls that you’d want to avoid? What are some of the clever techniques that you might want to adapt?

These videos vary widely in just about every conceivable way. Some are quite professional and sophisticated in terms of production while others are the works of beginners with little technical equipment. Some are basically informational—those produced by colleges and narrated by professors, for example—while others are promotional for books or seminars. Some are designed to sell a product and others are designed to fulfill a requirement in a communication course. Some of the videos make well-substantiated claims, the kinds of conclusions you find in your nonverbal communication textbooks and research articles. Others, however, make claims beyond what most academics would accept. For example, if you just watched the videos you’d come away with the idea that you can read a person like a book. Of course, you can’t.

Cultural Awareness

Here's an interesting little piece, sent to me by the author, on using cartoons to teach children cultural awareness and sensitivity. The 10 ways are easily adaptable to feature films, adult cartoons, and television shows for use with college students.
http://www.nationalnannies.com/blog/10-ways-cartoons-help-kids-learn-about-different-cultures/

Nonverbal Communication Exercise

Here is a brief exercise that I used in teaching nonverbal communication and that I rewrote for a textbook in nonverbal that I’m in the process of writing. Here I use it as an introduction to the discussion of height but it can also be used with perception, stereotypes, and media influences, for example. You can adjust it in any way you’d like for your own classes.

Before reading about/discussing height, try your hand at estimating the heights of famous people that you’ve probably read about, heard about, and perhaps seen in photographs and film portrayals, but not face-to-face. Estimate their heights (in feet and inches) simply on the basis of the image you have of these people.

1.      Baby Face Nelson (bank robber and murderer in the 1930s) __________.

2.      Ludwig Van Beethoven (influential German composer) __________.

3.      Bonnie Parker (gangster of the 1920s and 1930s, part of the Barrow Gang) __________.

4.      Buckminister Fuller (scientist, credited with inventing the geodesic dome) __________.

5.      Clyde Barrow (gangster of the 1920s and 1930s, leader of the Barrow Gang) __________.

6.      Mahatma Gandhi (Indian political leader whose civil disobedience led to India’s independence from British rule) __________.

7.      James Madison (fourth President of the US, largely credited with writing the Constitution _______.

8.      Joan of Arc (military leader, burned for heresy at 19, and declared a Saint) __________.

9.      T. E. Lawrence [of Arabia] (adventurer and British Army officer) __________.

10.  Pablo Picasso (influential Spanish artist) __________.

This was designed to see if you would overestimate the heights of a good majority of these people. Fame seems to be associated with height and so most people would think these people were taller than they really were. The specific heights are as follows: Baby Face Nelson: 5’5”; Ludwig Van Beethoven 5’6”; Bonnie Parker: 4’10”; Buckminister Fuller: 5’2”; Clyde Barrow: 5’7”; Mahatma Gandhi: 5’3”; James Madison, 5’4”; Joan of Arc: 4’11”; T. E. Lawrence: 5’5”; Picasso: 5’4”;    

Textbooks

Here's an interesting piece on keeping your used textbooks. In some cases I think this is a good idea, for example, keeping the texts in your major or perhaps texts for courses you really enjoyed and want to refer to at a later time. In some cases, however, it probably would just add to clutter.
http://www.onlinedegreeprograms.com/blog/2012/7-good-reasons-to-keep-your-old-textbooks/

Bullying

Here is a good list of things to know about bullying--something we've just started to include in our textbooks probably because of cyberbullying, tho' bullying has been around a lot longer than computers.
http://oedb.org/library/beginning-online-learning/10-telling-psychology-studies-on-the-nature-of-bullying