Using
Assertiveness Strategies
Assertiveness is the most direct and honest response
in situations such as these. Usually it’s also the most effective. For any one of the following situations, discuss in a
group or write individually (a) a nonassertive and (b) an assertive response.
Then, in one sentence, explain why your assertiveness message will prove more
effective than the nonassertive message.
1. You’ve
just redecorated your apartment, expending considerable time and money in
making it exactly as you want it. A good friend of yours brings you a house
gift—the ugliest poster you’ve ever seen—and insists that you hang it over your
fireplace, the focal point of your living room.
2. Your
friend borrows $150 and promises to pay you back tomorrow. But tomorrow passes,
as do 20 subsequent tomorrows, and there is still no sign of the money. You
know that your friend has not forgotten about the debt, and you also know that
your friend has more than enough money to pay you back.
3. Your
next-door neighbor repeatedly asks you to take care of her four-year-old while
she runs some errand or another. You don’t mind helping out in an emergency,
but this occurs almost every day. You feel you’re being taken advantage of and
simply do not want to do this anymore.
Responding to Confirm and Disconfirm
For each of the following scenarios, (1) write a confirming response
and a disconfirming response, and (2) explain the effects each type of response
is likely to generate.
1. Enrique receives this semester’s grades in the mail; they’re a lot
better than previous semesters’ grades but still not great. After opening the
letter, Enrique says, “I really tried hard to get my grades up this semester.”
Enrique’s parents respond:
2. Pat, who has been out of work for the past several weeks, says: “I feel
like such a failure; I just can’t seem to find a job. I’ve been pounding the
pavement for the past five weeks and still nothing.” Pat’s friend responds:
3. Judy’s colleague at work comes to her, overjoyed, and tells her that
he’s just been promoted to vice president of marketing, skipping three steps in
the hierarchy and tripling his salary. Judy responds:
4. Carrie’s boyfriend of seven years left her and is now dating a man.
Carrie confides this to Samantha, who responds:
