SKILL BUILDING EXERCISES IN INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION 

Here are two brief exercises that might be interesting woven into discussions of culture and interpersonal communication:

Describing Cultural Attitudes

Attitudes strongly influence communication. Understanding your cultural attitudes is prerequisite to effective intercultural communication. One of the best ways to appreciate the influence of culture on communication is to consider the attitudes people have about central aspects of culture. In a group of five or six people—try for as culturally diverse a group as possible—discuss how you think most of the students at your school feel (not how you feel) about each of the following. Use a five-point scale on which 5 = most students strongly agree; 4 = most students agree; 3 = most students are relatively neutral; 2 = most students disagree; 1 = most students strongly disagree. Also, note any gender, affectional orientation, and racial differences.

______ 1.   Too many feminists are too sensitive about sexism.

______ 2.   Courses on “women’s studies” should be required in our schools.

______ 3.   Gay rights means gay men and lesbians demand special privileges.

______ 4.   Homosexuals have made many contributions to their societies.

______ 5.   Racism isn’t going to end overnight, so minorities need to be patient.

______ 6.   White people benefit from racism whether they want to or not.

Source: These statements were adapted from the Human Relations Attitude Inventory (Koppelman, 2005). The authors note that this inventory is based on an inventory developed by Flavio Vega.

 

Confronting Cultural Differences

Confronting intercultural differences is extremely difficult, especially because most people will deny they are doing anything inappropriate. Approach these situations carefully, relying heavily on the skills of interpersonal communication identified throughout this text. Here are a few cases of obvious intercultural differences and difficulties. Assume you’re a mediator and have been called in to help resolve or improve these difficult situations. How would you mediate these situations?

1.  A couple is in an interracial, inter-religious relationship. The family of one partner ignores their “couplehood.” For example, they are never invited to dinner as a couple or included in any family affairs. Neither the couple nor the family is very happy about the situation.

2.  The parents of two teenagers hold and readily verbalize stereotypes about other religious, racial, and ethnic groups. As a result, the teenagers don’t bring home friends. The parents are annoyed that they never get to meet their children’s friends. It’s extremely uncomfortable whenever there’s a chance meeting.

3.  A worker in a large office recently underwent a religious conversion and now persists in trying to get everyone else to undergo this same conversion. The workers are fed up and want it stopped. The worker, however, feels it’s a duty, an obligation, to convert others.

 

Interpersonal Communication Skill Building Exercises

Here are a few skill building exercises in interpersonal communication. I wrote some new ones and updated and edited some old ones for the new editions of my interpersonal communication texts. My aim is to post a few exercises each week—following the pattern of most interpersonal communication courses. Here are a few which might prove useful when discussing the nature and function of interpersonal communication.

Communicating Content and Relationship Messages

Content and relationship messages are both important in interpersonal communication. Here are a few situations where you would need to communicate a content message and a relationship message. What would you say?

1.   After a date that you didn’t enjoy and don’t want to repeat ever again, you want to express your sincere thanks, but you don’t want to be misinterpreted as communicating any indication that you would go on another date with this person. What would you say?

2.   You’re ready to commit yourself to a long-term relationship but want your partner to sign a prenuptial agreement before moving any further in the relationship. You need to communicate both your desire to keep your money and to move the relationship to the next level. What would you say?

3.   You’re interested in dating a friend on Facebook who also attends the college you do and with whom you’ve been chatting for a few weeks. But you don’t know if the feeling is one of friendship or potentially at least one of romance. You want to ask for the date (on the assumption that the relationship can be a romantic one) but to do so in a way that, if you’re turned down, you won’t be embarrassed, and the friendship will remain intact? What would you say?

 

Examining Your Social Media Profile

Heightened awareness of how messages help create meanings will increase your ability to make more reasoned and reasonable choices in your interpersonal interactions. Examine your own social network profile (or that of a friend) in terms of some of the principles of interpersonal communication discussed in this chapter:

1.      How are the verbal and nonverbal messages in your profile related? Do they generally communicate the same meaning?

2.    Does your profile encourage interaction? In what way?

3.  What purposes does your profile serve? In what ways might it serve some of the five purposes of interpersonal communication identified here (to learn, relate, influence, play, and help)?

4.   Can you identify both content and relational messages.

5.   In what ways does your profile exhibit interpersonal power? In what ways, if any, have you incorporated into your profile any of the six types of power discussed in this chapter (legitimate, referent, reward, coercive, expert, or information)?

  6.    Are there any verbal or nonverbal messages on your profile that might be ambiguous to readers?

   7.   What are the implications of inevitability, irreversibility, and unrepeatability for posting a profile              on social network sites?

 

Red Flags

Here are some social media posts employers find problematic and will likely raise red flags about your suitability for a job. Examine your social media posts. Do you see any items that, from an employer’s point of view, might raise red flags?

1.      Inappropriate language such as vulgar, homophobic, sexist (and sexual), racist, ageist, or other terms that discriminate. These tell employers you’re not a good fit with a diverse workforce.

2.      Inappropriate partying photos or videos, especially with alcohol and/or drugs. These tell employers that you may be more interested in having fun than working.

3.      Negative comments on previous employers or companies. These tell employers that you may be hypercritical and that you may be the problem rather than your past employers.

4.      Opinions that may be viewed as contrary to a company’s values. These tell employers that your values don’t align with the company’s and that you would not be a good in furthering the company’s goals.

5.      Poor communication skills, such as misspellings and grammatical errors. These tell employers that you may lack essential skills or that you’re careless.

 

Interpersonal Skills

Here's an interesting and relevant article on the importance of interpersonal skills, especially in the workplace.
https://money.usnews.com/money/blogs/outside-voices-careers/articles/how-to-highlight-interpersonal-skills-in-interviews-and-resumes

Here is something I'm very proud of. Thank you Champ Ravirath.

Champ Ravirath

Yesterday at 2:00am · Bangkok, Thailand · 

การพัฒนาความสามารถในการสื่อสารระหว่างบุคคลโดยใช้โปรแกรมฝึกอบรมเชิงจิตวิทยา • Thesis • 267 pages • Joseph DeVito Your IC approach was published in Thailand as training methodology!

See Translation

25 Interpersonal Skills

 

Here is a list of 25 skills of interpersonal communication--25 things a competent interpersonal communicator should know how to do--that I used on the inside cover of my Interpersonal Messages book. But, I thought such a list might be useful more generally as a starting point for discussing what students can expect to learn to do or learn to do better than they now do it from a course in interpersonal communication. Needless to say the list is incomplete.

50 Communication Strategies

I’ve assembled (and rewrote) some of my blog posts and a variety of other brief pieces into a book that I published with iUniverse, a subsidy publisher (recently acquired by Penguin, a division of Pearson), called 50 Communication Strategies. One of the advantages of publishing a book this way was that I didn’t need an agent. Textbook authors rarely have agents; in fact, I don’t know of one textbook author who does have an agent. The other great advantage is that you don’t have to write a proposal. There are also disadvantages to doing a book this way as well. But, on balance, the procedure was relatively painless and certainly fast moving.  They even set up a website for the book—www.50communicationstrategies.com. In general, I'm very pleased with the finished product.

Interaction Management

The term interaction management has been used in a variety of studies on interpersonal communication and refers to the techniques and strategies by which you regulate and carry on interpersonal interactions. It is certainly one of the essential interpersonal skills. Effective interaction management results in an interaction that’s satisfying to both parties. Neither person feels ignored or that he or she must carry on the entire conversation; each contributes to, benefits from, and enjoys the interpersonal exchange.

Of course, all interpersonal communication theory, research, and skills are devoted to the effective management of interpersonal interactions. Here, however, are three specific suggestions:

<  Maintain your role as speaker or listener and pass the opportunity to speak back and forth—through appropriate eye movements, vocal expressions, and body and facial gestures. This will show that you’re in control of and comfortable in the interaction.

<  Keep the conversation fluent, avoiding long and awkward pauses. Powerful people always have something to say. For example, it’s been found that patients are less satisfied with their interaction with their doctor when the silences between their comments and the doctor’s responses are overly long.

<  Communicate with verbal and nonverbal messages that are consistent and reinforce each other. Avoid sending mixed messages or contradictory signals—for example, a nonverbal message that contradicts the verbal message. These will signal indecision and hence a lack of power.

Communication Strategies: Immediacy

Immediacy is the creation of closeness, a sense of togetherness, of oneness, between speaker and listener. When you communicate immediacy you convey a sense of interest and attention, a liking for and an attraction to the other person. You communicate immediacy with both verbal and nonverbal messages.

Communication in Business

Here's an interesting interview with CEO James J. Schiro (of Zurich Financial Services). In answer to the question, "What is the most important leadership lesson you've learned?", Schiro says: It's the ability to listen, and to make people understand that you are listening to them. And, in answer to the question, "Is there a skill you're looking for in job candidates now more than you did, say, five years ago?", Schiro says: Interpersonal skills and a sensitivity to people are key.