Nonverbal Communication

Kendall-Hunt has put up a website for my The Nonverbal Communication Book. (www.KendallHunt.com/devito).  The website has links to the Preface, the TOC, and a sample chapter--(click "Samples"). I chose the chapter on temporal communication--Time Messages. This sample chapter is open access and so students as well as instructors can use it. It's a really very different nonverbal communication textbook and that's why I wanted the chapter made available online. If anyone does use it in class or just looks at the chapter--as student or instructor, I'd sure appreciate hearing any reactions, negative as well as positive.

The Poor Professor

 

 

Here is a portrait of the poor professor—and by implication, the good professor--as seen by students, at least as noted on some 100+ professors as rated by students on RateMyProfessor. My method was simple: I examined the comments on some 100+ professors at random. I simply plugged in a school—some colleges and some universities, some public institutions and some private or religious--and selected names, some male and some female—at random. Nothing terribly scientific but reasonably fair, it seems. I then grouped the comments into general categories, though, as you’ll see, there is considerable over-lapping.

The portrait of the professor who is not well liked that emerges is amazingly clear. Students regularly note similar traits and behaviors that they consider “poor teaching.” Here are ten characteristics that seem to be identified over and over again. These also suggest—to my mind at least--that students’ expectations for professors are realistic, reasonable, and achievable.

These ten items seem to identify—at least in part—the professor who students do not like and to whom they give poor ratings. These are not necessarily the same items that we’d discover if this were a list of “ineffective” professors. For example, one of the things that students resent is the professor who gives directions that are vague and ambiguous; students dislike the professor who doesn’t make directions explicit. But, it can be argued that in some situations ambiguous directions might be preferred because they encourage creativity more than would explicit instruction. So, being liked and being effective are not the same. Yet, they don’t seem totally different either.

How to Gracefully Exit a Relationship

I was recently invited to review a book, How to Gracefully Exit a Relationship by Frank Love, a popular/trade book, rather than a textbook.

I’m happy to do so because it echoes much of my own feelings about what we call relationship dissolution and that is that it isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Lots of relationships end because they should end, because they’re no longer productive or rewarding. Further, there are things you can do to dissolve a relationship effectively/gracefully.

This is a short book and can easily be read in one sitting but it covers a wide range of topics such as understanding how you would prefer to be told “it’s over,” negotiating your relationship, unrealistic expectations, the problems with manipulation, expressing your desire to exit the relationship, dealing with an unreasonable partner, dealing with children, and dealing with yourself.

Everyday (but Sometimes Difficult) Conversations

 

Conversation is something we engage in everyday, often without thinking about the process itself. Yet, there are conversations that may create difficulty, apprehension, and an uncertainty about how to proceed. Here are a few such conversational situations: small talk, making introductions, giving and receiving compliments, giving and receiving advice, making excuses, and offering apologies. What follows is a brief discussion of each of these conversational situations, some suggestions for making them go more smoothly and effectively, and brief exercises to practice the skills. As such it can easily be used as a unit in a course in Interpersonal Communication [or Introduction to Communication] and in fact much of this comes from my Interpersonal Messages, Interpersonal Communication Book, and 50 Communication Strategies books.

 

Cultural Rules

Take a look at this article. It's a great example to use in class to illustrate the differences in cultural rules within the United States/Canada and the consequences of violating them.

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nhl-puck-daddy/justin-bieber-revenge-blackhawks-fans-step-singer-face-234024433.html

Here is a guest post on communication during conferences. Hope you like it.

 

How to Hold Your Own During A Conference

 

In the fast-paced world of business, every meeting is an important meeting.  Mobile applications and web conferencing makes any location a suitable location for a business meeting, and true success comes from being able to transition seamlessly from one environment to the next.  All the practice and preparation won't change the fact that how well you engage your peers is more important than the content of your presentation, or the polish of your pitch. 

 

Surviving the On-The-Spot Skype Interview

 

Holding your own in a conference boils down to holding your own in a conversation.  This means being able to act natural, confident, and relaxed while still focusing on the topic of the meeting.  More often than not, speaking comfortably and confidently comes from speaking with others – often. 

 

Conversing with others sounds easy enough – on the surface – but it doesn't always provide ample preparation for discussing detail-heavy business topics with the appropriate level of poise.  Scripted role-play may be okay for some training situations, but what about those times when an unanticipated question comes up? That's where simulation training comes in.

 

Practice Makes Perfect

• Keep Cool – Practicing the art of dialogue and etiquette will result in a sense of confidence and poise which will help you keep a clear head in even the tensest of business meetings.  Great leaders are often marked by their ability to remain unflappable even when under fire, they weren't born that way, they practiced it until it looked easy. 
• Anticipate Curve-balls – Today's job market is increasingly competitive, getting a job means standing out from the crowd. Most interviewers have not only mastered keeping a straight face and unreadable body language, but also delight in asking insightful questions which force you to shift mental gears quickly.
• Organize Coherent Thoughts – Being heard and appreciated as part of the business team means being able to comprehend what your cohorts are saying while also preparing a coherent response. Practicing active listening allows you to touch upon the important points others have raised while also providing a resolution of your own. 

 

To keep up with the break-neck pace of today's high-tech business world, it's important to remain in step with the latest in business innovations.  Learning how to hold your own in a conference is just like learning a foreign language, which is why simulation training is so important for anyone wanting to maintain a competitive edge.

 

SimSource Inc. is a communication company that provides performance-based training and assessment services. Their mission is to provide customized actor-based training, assessment and consultation for a variety of industries such as health care providers, human resources, and law school. For more information visit www.simsourceinc.com.

Persuasion, Persuasion, Persuasion

 

 

The current issue of Harvard Business Review (July/August, 2013) is devoted to “Influence: How to get it, How to use it.” One of the best articles is an interview with persuasion expert, psychologist Robert Cialdini who offers six principles of persuasion (as he has in his other excellent works, Influence: Science and Practice and Yes! 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to be Persuasive, with Noah Goldstein and Steve Martin):

1.      Liking. You’ll be more persuasive if people like you.

2.      Reciprocity: If you help others, they will help you.

3.      Social Proof: If you tell people that others are doing what you want them to do, they’ll be more apt to do it as well.

4.      Commitment and consistency: If you get people to make a commitment, they will try to follow through.

5.      Authority: People are persuaded by experts even though they may deny it.

6.      Scarcity: People place a high value on items that are scarce.

Other useful articles emphasize the importance of communicating warmth if you want to influence others and the ways in which experts gain influence.