From Dating to Mating

Here's a great article on patterns of pursuit with some really excellent advice on moving from dating to mating.


Kealah Parkinson said...

Thanks for these resources, Joe! As you well know, once you've "mated," communication doesn't end; it increases. Here's some expert insight:


maestra said...

In response to:
“you say you require a college grad, but what if you meet an ambitious autodidact who doesn't have that piece of paper? He or she might fulfill your desire for a partnership that fosters intellectual growth, even though the person wouldn't meet your checklist.”

The key word here is “ambituous.” I have a Masters degree and taught at the college level for a number of years back in the 1970s. During those same years, when I was doing the singles scene and dating, I met a guy who only had a high school education. The night we met, we spent hours and hours talking, and I tried to remain open-minded about the fact that he was only a high school graduate. He appeared to have some degree of intelligence but, when he finally told me toward the end of the evening, that his lifelong desire was to be a toll collector for the NYC transit system, that’s when I chose not to give him my phone number. Several years later, he met and married a friend of mine, who herself has only a high school education. They have been happily married ever since. In recent years, he retired, but was still a toll collector for the NYC transit system. I personally could never have been happy married to a man who lacked more ambition.

maestra said...

“Moving too fast, either by projecting hopes onto someone or by speeding up a natural getting-to-know-you phase, skews your ability to objectively judge a prospect.”

Sometimes a couple has chosen to date as much as four times a week from the onset of their relationship. After several months of dating each other exclusively, one or both may discover that he/she is not really sure about his/her true feelings for the other. So, they may opt for a trial separation of an agreeable amount of time to give themselves an opportunity to get in tune with their true feelings. Doing this may result in the discovery that “absence does not make the heart grow fonder.” If they are truly meant to be together, the relationship will survive the temporary separation.